Who am I? I’ll tell you who the fuck David Balabon is. I’m the motherfucker who drank your last 8 beers and tried to kiss your girlfriend. Then I loaded your dryer with your favorite shirts and shit in it. Yeah, I ordered Mexican steroids with your credit card. Because I’m David fucking Balabon, and that’s how the fuck I roll. Now, you answer me a question, bitch. Just what the fuck are you going to do about it? Nothing. Because nobody fucks with me, David Balabon.