You don’t boil bacon you idiot!

Listen, people…you don’t boil bacon. I had a friend once who did and it came out all chewy and nasty. So don’t boil it. Seriously, fry it on a pan. Or bake it. Just don’t boil it. Why would you want chewy and nasty boiled bacon anyway? Are you retarded? If you do you should be sent to a fart with pigs to learn how to cook bacon. Even if one falls off the pan and you pretend it didn’t. Don’t boil it.  Like, microwaves are even better, but that’s still gross. I’m telling you if you boil your bacon you will be sorry. So don’t.

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